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This Guy Kills Me, by Anlyn Hansell
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She has the face that could launch a thousand ships.
And the personality to sink every last one of them.
He sells his own special brand of life insurance, as in...death.
What happens when the one person you find you can't live without is the same person that is eventually going to kill you?
Jane Hamilton is one hot mess until she meets the World's most well-adjusted killer. He needs her help and he's not above kidnapping her to get it. What he doesn't expect is a woman who isn't at all what she seems. Except crazy, that is.
She's definitely crazy.
But then again, in his world? Crazy is the norm.
Excerpt:
“So, let’s talk about your death wish.” He ignored her verbal musings as he concentrated on merging with I-94 traffic.
“Sure. I want to talk about that too. We should get some things out in the open. I’m good with that.” She angled her body toward his on the leather seat.
“When we were in your apartment, were you trying to kill yourself? You know, with the aspirin and booze?”
“Yep.”
“You do realize that you probably would have barfed and passed out instead of died, right?”
“I don’t know. I’m kind of new to the whole suicide thing. I apparently suck at it. That’s where you come in.”
“I can’t believe I’m having this conversation…” If she could see his eyes behind his dark aviators, she could practically guarantee he was rolling them.
“Yeah, right? I can’t believe I’m actually asking you to help me waste my worthless ass, but I am. And I’m not afraid. I want to do it. I’ve wanted to do it for a while now but I can’t. I mean, I don’t like pain. And the thought of causing myself pain? Totally grosses me out. Can you kill someone, like say…I don’t know…gentle? And maybe you know, you do it…and I don’t even know its’ coming? Like a surprise? But not a scary surprise, more like a quiet surprise?
“I don’t…”
“And no drowning or stabbing, what about shooting? Maybe…no, no, because what if you missed? And I lived? And then someone has to take care of me for the rest of my life because I can’t function? No. No shooting…and no poisoning. I wouldn’t want to be poisoned. I would think that it would be excruciating at least up until the point where you finally kick it. Strangling is out, I would freak out. And no smothering, smothering would cause me to struggle, do they struggle? Wait, do you smother people?”
“I…”
“No smothering, and no throwing me off a building or… oh god, no hanging. I would be so nervous! It has to be a surprise. If I don’t know it’s coming, I might be Ok. Do you think you can do that? Wait, why did we get off the freeway? Where are we going? I thought we were going to Livernois?”
She watched as he pulled from the service drive down a residential street, ending near an abandoned building.
“Oh my god, are you going to do it NOW? I thought you wanted to find Rick? All right, I’m freaking out…” Adrenalin coursed through her body, causing it to move as far away as possible.
- Sales Rank: #616563 in eBooks
- Published on: 2015-01-09
- Released on: 2015-01-09
- Format: Kindle eBook
Most helpful customer reviews
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
He's A Hitman And She's His Kidnap Victim And Spends A Lot Of Time In His Trunk
By Mary L. Valley
So, he’s a hit man and she gets kidnapped by him and spends a lot her time with him riding around in his trunk. This is not always to keep her disoriented, it turns out she has a very annoying mouth. He wants to use her to find her former boyfriend and employer, and she wants to commit suicide by hitman. Except that he’s to make it a surprise so she won’t have time to be afraid. Also, she wants no pain so that excludes him from stabbing her, shooting her (might not be final and who wants to linger), drowning her or suffocating her, poisoning her, or using actually any means known to man for offing a fellow person.
There are some genuine hilarious moments in the book. It is full length and a standalone (thank you) and relatively free of typos and editing errors (another thank you) and has a good HEA.
The hero is ex-military and now a hitman specializing in thugs his organization decides to remove from the land of the living in order to protect the innocent. He is also on a mission to clear his father’s name. His father had been a policeman who was investigating a drug ring and who apparently committed suicide when he was caught in shady doings during the course of his investigations. His family was disgraced and destroyed and his mother is dying of liver failure and he wants to see it put right. He has a good idea his father was investigating the heroine’s boyfriend’s organization when this happened, hence he needs to talk to the man but the man doesn’t want to talk to him, so makes sure he can’t be found.
The heroine is psychic and a bit crazy. Since an accident where she received a head injury, she is unable to restrain herself, actually physically unable to keep the words back, when she sees something, and it’s always something bad—something the person feels guilty or uncomfortable about. This tends to make her an unwelcome, unpopular person. It has cost her so many jobs, she is unable to pay rent or feed herself and since her family also reacted badly to her talent, she feels she has no options remaining and is attempting to end it all when the hero grabs her for his own purposes.
At first the hero is cynically using her, knowing that her ex-boyfriend will kill her, but justifying it to himself by telling himself she was a drug mule for him so she deserves anything she gets, but in the meantime he’s feeding her health food and buying her clothes (he really hates her outdated wardrobe). As he is around her, he gradually sees her better—all her pain, her naivety, her unfiltered mouth (which results early on in the heroine riding in the trunk a lot)—and he finds himself drawn to her. He also starts to believe she didn’t know she was delivering drugs, and to worry about her and the position he has put her in.
The heroine sees the hero as a painless way to shuffle off this mortal coil (if it can be done given her restrictions), and is willing to help him in order to get his deluxe service. She is appalled by his belief she knowingly ran drugs since her sister died of an overdose (but not before setting the heroine up as scapegoat to cover her activities in servicing her addiction). She also realizes that the best and longest lasting relationship of her life is with the man who will be ending it, and its sad commentary on her life. Oh, and she's drawn to him.
The main action is the mystery; there is a very gradual lead up to any sex scenes. The sex is largely off screen and there is no particular heat on what is in the book. The windup to sex is gradual with this activity in the final stages of the story.
A couple of problems, one—when they finally reveal the culprit behind his father’s death, I had to look back over the book because I honestly couldn’t remember who the guy was. I can be a little absent minded these days, but I don’t usually lose a whole villain. Also, the plot had a long standing conflict worked up that divided the heroine from her family, things that hurt her long before her talent took such a disastrous turn. It was wound up also largely off screen and went from being a point of honest pain, to one of misunderstanding so fast, it didn’t ring true and was ultimately unsatisfying in how it was resolved.
The book on the whole is a decent read with some honest laughs.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Different, but I thoroughly enjoyed it.
By Romance Diva
The heroine's thought processes left a lot to be desired but I guess if you considered weird due to psychic ability, it's understandable. So the plot is about the heroine who is broke, depressed, anti social and isolated. She's at the end of her rope and thinks she wants to die, until our Hero promises to make that a reality.
For me the hero's turnaround took too long for me. He felt he was better than her for over 60% of the book. He didn't believe in her abilities or talent and he was stuck in his own insecurities for too long. Then there was the long, tv/movie final showdown. If at 92% you still think you lover is psycho! I don't understand what I've been sitting through. The plot gets two stars. The execution gets one star. Grandma Betty deserves five stars and she saved this book.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Keep Writing Anlyn!!
By Lizziepan
I sincerely hope that the author is hard at work writing her next book. When I saw "This Guy Kills Me" listed as a new publication, I had to read it immediately! Her books are all nighters! You simply cannot put it down until its finished...and then you're disappointed because you have to wait for another one....
Truly one of my favorite writers, Her characters are never what you expect and the story lines are always a surprise. She never fails to hold my attention.
Keep writing- I can't wait for your next one!!
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